I fell into an Alaskan lake,
Letting the coolness of the world consume me.
My meager cells burst open
Revealing the chill left inside my bones.
I was found frozen,
No colder than before.

Webs crowded my veins,
Their soft touch itching to break apart
the binding of my skin.
Their spiders kissed my brain,
Spewed their venomous words into my mind.
I let them in, unknowingly at first.

The world seemed so much faster
than I remembered.
I was a corpse,
Worth only a handful and a half of grief.
People passed me by,
As I sat, wishing, oh wishing
I would die.

Bothersome and lonely,
A burden and a stone.
I was the heart-wrenching dilemma
No one could repair.
My own words crafted blades
Seemingly from thin air.
I always found a way.

I was a corpse, so I’ve said,
But a belligerent one at times.
Undead, half-alive.
I became like a ghost,
Half-asleep, but struggling towards the light.

Once I saw a candle sitting:
Almost out.
So I took it, and I spilled the flame,
I tossed it across my couch like blood in a cup.
As gasoline, it erupted,
Sending its warmth,
Sending its radiance,
Into my decaying soul.

I became a saviour to myself,
The only person who could kill,
The only person who could heal,
The only person who could decide.
Fate marred me,
But I, 

I survived.