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Shadows are Okay
With all my fire,
I think I've lost my grit.
With all of my "feeling greats!",
too often I start a morning
a feeding ground of anxiety.
And for every ounce of the discipline
I am known to be,
I pop a pimple and eat three cookies for every time my mom has warned me not to.
I am the happiest girl I know,
one whose "got her stuff together,"
Yet I am too familiar
With the feel of petty tears
of self-criticism
falling on my pillowcase,
There to drown me to sleep.
What in a world that offers me
No need to worry is it
that causes me to find ways
to see darkness in the light?
It's not that I am negative
It's not that I am fake.
Or, at least I don't think so.
From what I know, I smile
on my worst days
to see the happiness of others
before me.
Seeing how another person smiles
makes me smile.
And even on those dark days,
Where insomnia poisons my spirit,
Work is heavy on my shoulders,
And the only place I wish to look is
Down at my feet,
A smile, a laugh, a hug,
Lies at the farthest corner of the box
A flicker of "everything's going to be okay".
So, what in a world that offers me
No need to worry is it
that causes me to find ways
to see darkness in the light?
A balance, so it seems.
No matter the walks of life, our path will always be lit
One half day,
One half night.
And sometimes,
those of fortune
Think they live in a world
of just daylight;
Thinking that they have no right
to pretend that they experience night.
But now I scream,
Myself rightfully being one
Of these,
That if we live all our lives in light,
And never experience night,
We will never rest.
And without the coming of darkness,
the brightness becomes less sweet.
So, to find a little darkness
on our paths,
Is not an act of pure selfishness;
But rather, on some worthy occasions,
One of survival.
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