Standing between the chaos
of what i call my life; now fifteen.
More understanding of what it's really made of.
Not so long ago was i in the same spot, but the difference then was that i was only a little girl.
i didn't know what was happening which made me vulnerable.
One thing that always stood in the middle of it all was that bottle, smiling in its glory.
I became it's victim.
It's what stood in the middle of it all. the reason i abandoned my soul, hated my life, wanted to die.
A bottle.
Even till now do i feel like how i did 10 years ago.
Like how Jesus gets crucified all over again every time i commit sin.
I'm forced to go through it all over again, like if it was for the first time.
The scary thing of it all is, you can feel them going through you. Destroying everything in their way. How they tear you down to nothing.
All alone with my demons i am.
Constantly fighting voices in my head, fighting the chains that are wrapped around my soul. They dance around me filling my head with none sense and temptations, but i won't give in.
I can feel the burning sensation slither through my feet like a snake; keeping my faith strong, with every strike of the whip.
It wasn't long before i accepted what i must do.
Crawling on my knees, carrying the cross on my shoulder like my savior did for me.
As i walk swarmed by demons i keep my eyes straight ahead one foot in front of the other step by step, tasting the blood that drips down my face.
I now know this is what i do. What i see around me is life, and what the world carries; what everyone carries on their shoulders. some giving in , others barely walking.
For when the darkness consumes me i must stay strong. i know your here.
Jesus , help me.