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Memory
May 13, 2011
The memories that you left behind
they'll stay close by my side
and when I walk into your room
I see the times I had with you
I can't believe your gone
such a short time we had
but I'm glad I had the chance to share it with you
the time for sleep is now
it's nothing to cry about
though we'll shed our tears
in the love for you
I can't believe your gone
your still with me
your that star at night
your that tear I shed
your that angel I love
even when your in the sky above
your memory lives on
© Zachary C., Arlington, TN
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 23 comments.
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:27 am
thank you sorry this poem just came to me and i scribbled it down
I like this, but I was a little bit annoyed at the 'your' in the last few lines, since it's supposed to be 'you're'. Other than that though, I think I understood what you were trying to say, especially when I put myself in the shoes of someone who just lost someone they love. I like the words you used, and it's sad and happy at the same time. Good job! :)
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 27 2011 at 7:31 am
Well, I never really wrote or liked free verse poems like this. Next time you you should try to make every line have the same amount of sylables. It would sound more smooth and put together. I was also a little confused about what the poem was about, like someone leaving or someone dying. I wasn't for sure. You should try to convey your point clearly or easily in your poem so people will be able to read and be like "Hey that poem is about blahblahblah." I hoped this help, I think you really have the potenial to write a really good poem.
