Memory | Teen Ink

Memory

May 13, 2011
By musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them


The memories that you left behind
they'll stay close by my side
and when I walk into your room
I see the times I had with you
I can't believe your gone
such a short time we had
but I'm glad I had the chance to share it with you
the time for sleep is now
it's nothing to cry about
though we'll shed our tears
in the love for you
I can't believe your gone
your still with me
your that star at night
your that tear I shed
your that angel I love
even when your in the sky above
your memory lives on


The author's comments:
When I wrote this I was thinking about the death of someone I love.

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This article has 23 comments.


on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:27 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

thank you sorry this poem just came to me and i scribbled it down

on Jun. 27 2011 at 7:43 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything&#039;s a triangle.&quot; ~ My mother<br /> <br /> &quot;Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it&#039;s the easiest way to be heard.&quot;

I like this, but I was a little bit annoyed at the 'your' in the last few lines, since it's supposed to be 'you're'. Other than that though, I think I understood what you were trying to say, especially when I put myself in the shoes of someone who just lost someone they love. I like the words you used, and it's sad and happy at the same time. Good job! :)

on Jun. 27 2011 at 7:31 am
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 966 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

Well, I never really wrote or liked free verse poems like this.  Next time you you should try to make every line have the same amount of sylables.  It would sound more smooth and put together.  I was also a little confused about what the poem was about, like someone leaving or someone dying.  I wasn't for sure.  You should try to convey your point clearly or easily in your poem so people will be able to read and be like "Hey that poem is about blahblahblah."  I hoped this help, I think you really have the potenial to write a really good poem.