I feel as though I don’t belong
In this close minded field of theirs
They are all as steady as the seasons
I am erratic, sporadic, changing not
Like the evergreen that stays green
Though fall and winter pass me by
The other trees change their color
They shed their leaves and become bare as their God would have it
I do not change
I stand out green as ever
In a field of bare branches
My color catches the eye
They can’t have that
A sinner and bad soul
The other trees talk amongst each other
“why is she not following us” “why isn’t she how we are”
They gossip around me day and night
Tell me I am a sinner
Theres only one place for a sinner like me
I begin to feel ashamed of my individuality
I try so hard to shed my pines
Even when I try to be what they want, they are displeased
My stumps slumps over in my failure
I am a mighty strong evergreen
I should stand tall and proud
Instead I allow those around me to tell me im wrong
I feel as though my sun stopped shinning
The ground refuses to nourish me with its riches
And the clouds refuse to spear any water
To a sinner such as me
My friends, my way of growth
Abandon me in this time of need
They do not approve of the way I am
And refuse to stand with me
My pines begin to shrivel as they cut me off for good
Telling all the other trees I am no good
Soon I am more alone than I can stand
My branches begin to die, fall away from me
I am dying, slowly
They are trying to shove me into a mold I do not belong
Evergreens aren’t meant to change with season
They care not
Continuing with this cruel treatment just to get me how they want
I scream and cry only with the moons light
When day breaks the sun’s cold shoulder, the ground’s stinginess
Continue to slowly take away any personality I would’ve had
I play along, keep my mouth shut
I am gagging inside as though someone has feed poison to my roots
My base shrivels, causing my branches to be bare
I give up hope of being me
And slowly return into the ground that gave me life
The other trees are now pleased
The sun and cloud are triumphant
Jammed into the mold that was not meant for me
I die, slowly and painfully
Soon I am just a stump
Doing no good for anyone
Unable to eat, think, live
Depression comes hard
I give up all will to live
My stump cracks and splits
My soul leaves my body in no hopes of finding acceptance
I float around aimlessly
No emotions, no nothing
Now that I am what they thought I should be