to my no longer sister,

to my once second home,

my best friend,

my other family,

my other half,

i never knew that the only person that could make me smile when i cried,

could be the only reason that i sob myself to sleep,

you’re gone,

like a boat that sunk deep into the ocean in silence,

gone,

like the warm, bright sunshine in the winter,

you disappeared,

after spilling your deepest darkest secrets,

your longings, aspirations, goals, and dreams,

but you never stuck around to hear mine,

missing in action,

you were there but you felt so distant,

my hands never stopped reaching for the rope,

trying to pull you back into shore,

little did i realize that you had already been saved,

disappeared out of plain sight,

you took my heart into your hands as i took yours into mine,

i cradled it in my own two palms,

developed blisters, bruises, and split knuckles all to protect it,

while you forgot mine existed,

my missing half,

remember the nights we would lay on your floor and just talk,

the ceiling fan spinning in endless circles like our minds,

remember our long runs in the august humidity and heat,

where we would take pictures and plan the rest of our day together

remember all the summer nights where we would tie multi colored strings around our ankles with eachothers names on them,

who knew that they would fall off so soon,

the girl i once thought of as my sister,

i may appear strong as i walk past you in the hallway,

but every step i take my heart shatters under the immense pressure of longing for you,

the constant, never ending fight to stop from holding your gaze for too long,

or how it takes every muscle and bone in my 5 foot 4 body to not let myself crumble to the ground and cry,

the person i can no longer call all mine,

i can finally help myself heal,

i no longer let your words pierce through me like a sword,

because i know that those hurtful words you post and whisper behind my back could never be said to my face,

i no longer beg God to take the insufferable pain away,

because you never felt remorse towards the way you treated me in any way,

my heart no longer feels like a brick in my chest,

because the girl that did us both so wrong makes yours float above the clouds,

i no longer sink into my bed filled with searing pain and regret,

because i know that you fall asleep wrapped up in a blanket of tranquility,

to the person i no longer know,

it’s not that i don’t miss you,

i don’t think a day will pass without you on my mind,

but you’ve changed and turned into a stranger,

and left my former best friend behind.