Channing, I first saw you dancing,
Your moves in Step Up were entrancing.
My grandma said you had a stupid voice,
So I got rid of her, I had no choice.

Channing, there is no reason for you to wear a shirt,
I would love you even if you were covered in dirt.
So take your clothes off now and let me see your abs,
Just a routine check to make sure there is no flab.

Channing, I have watched you strip in Magic Mike so many times,
I have memorized every muscle, every groove, every line.
You can get rid of your wife in a year,
That’s when I will be of legal age, my dear.

Channing, you are the perfect man for me,
I will make you see.
In the Vow, McAdams woke up and said you weren’t her husband,
But if that was me, I wouldn’t question nothin’

Channing, thank you for ruining me for another man,
God only knows if I will find one to match you in this lifespan.
So when you read this, find me as soon as you can,
So we can start our lives together, Chan.