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All Those Daisies
August 7, 2012
Daisies torn from the ground.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals ripped from their stem.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Daisies captured by the dozen.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals plucked off silently, quickly.
I love him, I love him not.
Fields of daisies gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Petals in heaps.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Not a daisy in sight.
I love him, I love him not.
Petals drifting in the breeze.
I love him, I love him not.
Everything is gone.
He loves me, he loves me not.
Except my love for him,
The only daisy left in an empty field.
He loves me, he loves me
Not.
© Anna R, Sudbury, ON, Canada
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This article has 61 comments.
ChobaniLuvinPenguin PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 27 2012 at 9:06 pm
So beautiful and so creative! It is easy to understand in context, and the deeper meaning behind it really makes you think. You make it seem like there is a somewhat violent side in the plucking of the daisies, and create a character with the desperate voice of your narrator, which is very unique. I love it!!! Truly amazing.
LihuaEmily SILVER said...
on Oct. 21 2012 at 6:37 pm
Raw and sad. I hate when this kind of thing happens. Ha ha, seriously. But this was great. Keep going.
GraphicWriter DIAMOND said...
on Oct. 11 2012 at 8:31 am
I'd love to. In return, could you check out mine? I'd greatly appreciate it. :)
GraphicWriter DIAMOND said...
on Oct. 7 2012 at 6:51 pm
It's a good poem with an awesome story behind it.. Maybe making different stanzas to show the breaks inbetween? But other than that, it's simply wonderful. :)
on Oct. 1 2012 at 1:52 pm
this is great:)
sonJaNae said...
on Oct. 1 2012 at 12:41 pm
Sure, I'll take a look :)
irishlass317 said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 10:29 pm
This is really good!! The only constructive criticisim I have is that you might make the sayings between the "he loves me.." statements longer, so that the reader can understand the backstory better. Great job!!! :)
satellite23 GOLD said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 10:18 pm
Wow! I think this might be the best thing you've submitted to the site so far. I liked the idea, and how your switch between sentences so often. Also, I really liked the line break at the end, it adds a bit of humor and drama to the piece. Nicely done!
sonJaNae said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 7:58 pm
I actually really enjoyed this! Usually I find the repetive poems a bit bland, but this was interesting and creative! :)
