Dear Laurie Halse Anderson,

My childhood revealed unpleasant events that a young child should never face, in fact my childhood grew into a burden, filled with violence and trauma. My father constantly got drunk and he always turned into a malicious monster at the simplest actions. He succeeded in committing something inhumane to my family that ceased to be forgiven, he left every year on “vacations.” Eventually his unfaithful acts, led to their divorce. I felt surprised and conflicted, primarily when my mom met another man, and accepting him as a family member especially after what happened with my father rendered as troublesome. After that, my mother suffered from breast cancer and nearly passed away. My grandma died before I even got a chance to visit her death bed. Life remained hopeless, full of deceit and hatred instead. Soon, I emerged as that depressed girl who barely endured living through constant name-calling and neglect from my peers, causing me to shut the world out. I remained as an antisocial teenager; pushing away most of my friends. They saw me, a speechless girl and without a reason, they hunted me so effortlessly as their feeble prey; ripped apart by their viciousness as I clinged onto life, vulnerable to the surrounding scavengers waiting to feast on the left over parts of me. I rarely spoke, afraid of who intended to agonize me next.

The days passed in fear and everyday I woke up afraid to go to school, afraid to go anywhere where others compelled me to socialize. I subsisted even as I unveiled my unusual terror of people, I hid by not talking, because I thought that if I remained wordless, that they may eventually succeed into forgetting my existence and ignore me . This went on for a while, causing me great difficulty in making friends . My only real friend that remained, revealed a small dog and the only reason I desisted from my usual terror; resulted in her inability to even speak. I emerged as detached and depressed girl. I self-harmed and attempted suicide various times, I even tried counseling and medicine. Then one day, I came across your book on the smooth wooden shelf, and as I read the through your story I discovered that this book revealed a life-changing experience.

As you said “ ‘I don't know what I'm supposed to feel.’My fingers fly up and cover my mouth. What am I doing?...When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time” (Anderson). I realized the true reason of life, but also how to deal with obstacles. You gave me your perspective, similar to mine and I saw what you saw, I realized what you realized. Although the traumatizing event exhibits some difference, Speak helped me realize that if I want to change myself that I need to possess courage and feel unafraid of the oncoming events and situations in life. As you went through self-realization, I experienced the same feeling, such as when you said, “Breathe life into it. Make it bend--trees are flexible, so they don't snap. Scar it, give it a twisted branch--perfect trees don't exist. Nothing is perfect. Flaws are interesting. Be the tree.” (Anderson), and I no longer felt as the self-conscious girl who never talked and hid away from the truth.

Your book, Speak , not only presently helps me battle through my depression, but your book also helped me to realize the importance in letting go and accepting your past,yourself ,and your values, even if you are the outcast.

With great admiration and thanks,


Raquel G.