A cool evening breeze blew in the bathroom, taking the steam out the window while I took my shower.  The really warm water rinsed and cleansed me while also soothing the aching in my back and feet.  Relaxed and very upset that I had to let the next person take their shower but it didn't matter because I was already done washing myself and hair.  Turning off the water, I listened to it trickle down the drain, watching it disappear from around my feet.  With no steam to keep the kind warmth to comfort me, the cold seeped in and hugged me tightly.

While drying off, I heard this humongous loud boom!  from outside.  I wasn’t worried because I thought it was just Debbie in the barn cleaning horse stalls because that's what she said she was gonna do.  A couple minutes later, she comes storming through the door saying some stuff I thought was about my Dad in hiccup sobs.  My first thought was the horses but then I thought it couldn’t be because the electric fence  was on and working so they couldn’t have gotten through.  My second thought was Zena, where was she and what was she doing.  Along with that thought I got this really hurtful gut feeling but I pushed it aside hoping it wasn’t true.

I heard the loud roar of the engine on the four wheeler while my Dad pushed the gas. I couldn’t tell what he was doing but I knew it probably wasn’t good.  I rushed to put away my soap and threw on my clothes.  I marched up the stairs while I watched Ricky and Sierra pop out of his room. Ricky looked like someone just took his candybar and Sierra had tears in her eyes.  Right then I knew it was Zena even before they told me.

“It’s Zena,” Sierra and Ricky both said in sync.  I rushed down the stairs to go outside while Ricky called to me, “Don’t go out there Meg,” but that didn’t stop me.  I shot out the door, ready to see the full  image that lay ahead and if that person was there, I hope they were sorry for what they did.

Blasting out of the woodshed and coming to a complete halt, I saw my Dad standing by the cart that was hooked on the back of the four wheeler while Debbie stood beside him with tears sliding down her cheek.  What I saw was not bearable, I saw my dog's limp body in the back while I was looking frantically for a rise and fall of her stomach but there was nothing.  I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t want to but I had to.

“Will you please talk to them,” Debbie sobbed.
“Zena was in the road and a white truck ran her over.  I’m sorry guys,” he said.

A jolt of shock surged through me and the realization came to me that my dog was dead.  I looked into her opened eyes waiting for her to wake up like she was just lying in the cart.  They were dead cold with a blank look in them.  I wished those eyes would just look at me and smile like they did when she used to while laying in front of the wood stove feeling the warmth that it gave.  They didn’t,  I was waiting and looking for a movement still not believing she was dead.

The tears started slow, they slid down my cheeks lazily and wet and then they started to come faster and faster.  They then turned into sobs, huge weeping sobs.  I was so sad that she was gone.  I was walking away with my sister who wouldn’t shut up.  I just wished she would because when something like this happens, I just want it quiet.  I keep in all my feelings until I burst and I just have to get it out.  I like it quiet when I cry because sometimes I just need to hear how much it hurts to keep all the words in your head and it just gets worst.  One by one all those words came out in tears.

While I cried, I was mumbling things while I sobbed just so Sierra wouldn’t hear.  I was so sad and while I cried I was thinking to myself.  I feel as though I had the best dog in the whole wide world and I didn’t even deserve her.  We finally got her some good treats that she loved and she never even got to finish them.  The greatest dog and the only one I could trust and that loved me for who I was and didn’t yell at me or shame me for what I did wrong.  She was my protector and she made me laugh every day.  At dinner she would push dad’s arm and put her head on his lap.  Sometimes she would just come and sleep behind me until someone called her to come get a treat.

She was the best dog and yet I still feel as though I didn’t give her everything she deserved but I know now that giving something up isn’t always good for you but it’s for the best of others.  The next day I rode the Coyote U Bus home with Ricky and Sierra. I was glad when Jordan got on because  he was funny and made me happy.  Coming to my stop I sluggishly moved off the bus.  After it left me Ricky and off I took a walk.  On the road right after my neighbors drive was a spot stained and brown.  It was a puddle then some drops spread and then I noticed the tire tracks of the white truck that my dad described as the one that hit my dog.  Sierra came out calling my name over and over again saying come on Meg we have to go.  She was being annoying like a the song that just repeats itself. 

“I heard you the first time can you just leave me alone.”

“Jeez sorry I didn’t hear you.”  Well that’s because I didn’t say anything to you. She was just getting on my nerves and I just needed to be alone for a while.  I didn’t realize I was crying until I watched a drop fall from my cheek while staring at the road.  I quickly wiped away my tears and hurried into the house. 

That night after dinner and I brushed my teeth Debbie and I were in the kitchen.  I sat and listened quietly to what happened that night.  What was most shocking was that the truck that hit her just took off.  Even though listening to a sad story about what happened to my dog that night I went to bed knowing that she was in a better place if there was one after this world and hoping she was doing good.