Some people spend their entire lives searching for a one-way ticket to Heaven. On Judgment Day they want to be able to stand proudly before the Pearly Gates and hear God say, with a wide smile, “Come on in!” Well for me, that day was July 9 on a Wednesday afternoon, and the paradise in question was the Monumentour concert featuring Paramore and Fall Out Boy.  My ticket cost only $100 and my stepmother, Megan, paid for it. However, it certainly seemed like a lifetime of anticipation as I thought about seeing my idol, Hayley Williams, in person for the first time. When I did arrive, the gates were not pearly and the guards simply gave me a quick pat-down before ushering me inside – yet I still felt a thrill of excitement upon entering.

The lawn where we sat was anything but heavenly. It was so crowded that I could feel the warmth emanating from those around me, and one person’s conversation blended seamlessly with another’s. I loved it, though. The faint smell of weed hung on the air, and half-dressed girls with hair down to their waist ran back and forth in front of the blanket where I sat. There were a few people from school, but none that I knew very well. My best friend, Melissa, sat next to me, and we both waited impatiently for the opening act to finish so that Paramore could come onstage. I remember feeling as though something important was about to happen (apart from the obvious excitement of seeing my favorite band perform). Little did I know just how impactful that something would be.

As soon as I saw her tiny form bob up onto the stage, full of energy, my pulse quickened and I leapt to my feet. “How are you doin’, Indiana?!” she shouted, but she might as well have whispered it right into my ear: “How are you, Callie?” My screams joined with those of everyone around me and from then on it was harmony, each of us singing the lyrics to our favorite songs in tandem with Hayley. When it got dark enough, we took out our cell phones and lighters, and I’ve never seen anything so magical. It looked like a sea of stars glittering back at the stage as the band performed one of their slower songs. I never touched my phone any other time, because I wanted to be fully in the moment. And I don’t regret it – I think we need to relearn how to make lasting memories without the crutch of a video camera.

I’ll never forget when Hayley stopped singing and spoke some words of wisdom into our lives. “Every morning,” she said, “when you wake up, you have a decision… a decision to put one foot in front of the other. It’s your choice. No matter how many walls are in front of you, if you do that, you will knock them down. And what’s on the other side is always better, I promise you.”

I felt so surprised it was almost shock. How did she know I needed to hear that? At that time in my life, I had been battling severe depression for almost two years. If I’m being honest, I still am. That meant constantly wrestling between wanting to give up and wanting to take back control of my life. Hearing Hayley’s message was like a sign from God, and to this day I still keep it in my mind.

Pete Wentz echoed her words an hour later, and his were even more chilling. “We came up with this concept,” he said, “that maybe we should stop telling kids that it’s just going to get better. Because you don’t just wake up and it just gets better, you know. What we’re trying to say is that… only you can choose your own happiness. And sometimes that involves walking directly into your fears, and sometimes it’s going to get harder… Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger.”

These two people, already so important in my life, gave me a message that day that brought me out of a dark place. That message was to never give up. They made me realize my worth and that I still have fight left in me. Even more importantly, I realized that no one was going to save me. I would have to do that myself. If that seems harsh, it’s probably because it’s the truth. And so, that is the story of how I got to see my favorite band perform live, and of the day that serves a turning point for how I want to live my life. Hayley Williams and Pete Wentz, you could say, are my unorthodox angels, from an unorthodox Heaven.