Regret | Teen Ink

Regret

November 1, 2021
By Anonymous

We planned on going out on a Friday, after my volleyball practice. I had no problem doing that the day before but with the day came, regret. Let me start from the beginning. That night I didn’t get sleep because I had decided to stay up all night which wasn’t the smartest thing knowing that I was going to have a long day. It was 6AM and I got a call from my best friend saying that I needed to get my bathing suit and a towel because we were going to the pool after practice. Obviously I wasn’t going to say no, it was a pool in 80 degrees weather. So at that point I started getting ready and got everything I needed. My plan was to have practice from 12-2 and then right after we go to the pool till like 3 and then I would head to Downtown to meet up with my friends.

When I had finally gotten out of bed, instant regret came to me because I had stayed up all night and right when I got up I was getting tired, I didn’t even want to go anywhere anymore. But I still went. Getting ready that day I felt like a sloth, time was going by and I had yet been done. It was then time for me to check the bus so that I could go to practice but I couldn’t believe what I saw. The bus was coming in 20 min and I had to be in practice in 20 min, I immediately called my coach to let him know but luckily he was around my neighborhood so he was then able to pick me up and take me. From there I made it to practice on time but going to practice was probably one of the worst ideas for that day. Walking into the gym it was like you were already sweating. It felt like walking into a dry desert but with no sunlight, just straight heat. When practice was over, we were finally able to go to the pool. I don’t think I have ever ran as fast as I did for a pool ever in my life before. I was like the new usain bolt. 

Once we were out of the pool it was perfect timing because my friends that I was going to downtown with were all getting ready. Now a little background story about them, it’s 3 of them, I had met 2 of them over the summer and the 3rd one I already knew. If you are the type of person who does crazy things when you go out, they are your people. Of course not anything illegal but me compared to them, we are different. Not completely different because we still hang out and have fun but different to where they want to go Downtown and ride bikes in Boston. Anyways as I was going downtown to meet up with them, then suddenly I got a wave of tiredness. I think I could have fallen asleep on the train if I just closed my eyes without thinking. But luckily I didn’t, I got downtown and there they were. 

Getting to downtown I was kinda hoping that they were going to change their minds and just chill. Even though downtown is like an unorganized bedroom, too much is happening around there. But they still had the amazing idea to still go on city bikes and ride to a place called “Lawn on d”. At that point I wanted to go home and all I can really think about while being there is just being able to sleep on my amazing comfortable bed. But I did want to hang out with them so of course I still went. Next thing you know we were paying for our bikes.I know how to ride a bike, it’s just it wasn’t MY bike and we were gonna be going through the streets of Boston, I have never done that before. While all of this was happening I was more nervous then tired anymore. It wasn’t something that I would usually do so it was completely different for me. But there I am getting on my bike, then boom we are riding our bikes. I would say I lasted a good 2 minutes on my bike before I lost control going down a little hill and falling on the sidewalk. I can barely even remember how it actually happened. Just how I was riding my bike and then a lot of people walking by, then feeling my arms go weak which then led to not being able to stop while going pretty fast, then hitting my head on the floor pretty hard. Realizing what just happened I looked up and I saw a random lady asking me if I was okay, which I really appreciated and my 3 friends also surrounding me. I don’t know if it was because I was embarrassed that that really just happened, but seeing them around me wondering what just happened just made me want to run away because in the back of my head I was thinking “they are laughing at me”. But I couldn’t even get up. I was literally shaking in shock because of what just happened. 

 We headed to the park so that I could sit down at least for a little bit. Once I sat down all of the water works wanted to come down but I couldn’t let them out. It was already too embarrassing. But I remember my head pounding from the fall and also realizing that my clip from the back of my head was gone, it was shattered all over the floor. The sad part was that it was one of my favorite clips. Finally as I was sitting down I came to the realization that it was time for me to go home. I don't think I could stay there any longer, it was too embarrassing and I probably had a small concussion without even knowing. So my friends called an uber for me because they didn’t want me to take public transportation on my own. Right when I got into that car the first thing that I did was text my therapist that I needed to talk to her, and she called me right away and I told her everything. The uber driver definitely heard everything and probably was really interested as to what just happened to me. But all I wanted that day was just for everything to go away. 

I finally got home and I finished talking to my therapist. I headed straight to the shower to see if that was able to calm me down. Then I went into my bed that I missed so much that day, and from there I took an amazing nap, my head still hurting but it was better than before. 

I remember telling myself that I was never going to forget this and that everytime I thought about it, it was just going to be one of the worst memories ever. But now that I think about it's not one of my worst memories, it's just one of the dumbest decisions I have ever made. It was something that I would never do, but because they are my friends I was willing to do it for them. but I should've known that from the beginning I couldn’t ride the bike .



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