What really matters in life?
When I was six, it was my goal to leave my sheltered Christian life behind. I wanted to wear eyeliner, and earings, and be like other girls. My family, who were my only friends, told me I just needed to be me; but I didnt believe them of course. I was too naive. When I was ten, the thing that mattered most was keeping my daddy and mommy together. All I wanted for my birthday, and for christmas was for daddy to come out of the guest house early in the morning and make breakfast. All I wanted was for the arguing and the hate to cease, and for the love that I knew had to be in there somewhere to come bubbling out of the deep cracks in my life. When I was 12, all I wanted was to go to school, and become normal, so that all the ignorant people would stop laughing at me. I wanted them to like me, so I could like me. I wanted HIM to like me, so that I could like me. When I was 13, all that really mattered to me was making the pain stop. I wanted to stop cutting and starving and purging. I wanted to be skinny and pretty and happy. I wanted to be okay again. TOday, what matters to me most is to make it to tommorow. All that matters now is my fragile life.