Recently, the internet has been abuzz about the reboot of a classic action-comedy from 1984—Ghostbusters. Although the movie has been in pre-production for a while, the reboot reached a peak of internet scorn after the first trailer was released this past month, when a traditionally all-male team was replaced by women. Misogynist comments on YouTube included Mlg Mcdank’s “For every dislike, McCarthy will gain a pound of lard and disgrace” and GutiRx1’s “This movie should be called KITCHENBUSTERS.” As the internet is set aflame from the hellfire rained down by these righteous commenters, only one solution is clear—stop making all movies.

In theory, Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters (2016) seems like a perfect set of circumstances to make a unique and charming spin on a classic film. The remake features a talented cast of comedians, a director with a track record of hits like Spy and Bridesmaids, and full reign over the iconic imagery and branding of a beloved franchise. One problem facing producers is the chivalric nostalgia for the original film overshadowing the blossoming of the Ghostbusters adventures for new audiences. Some moviegoers worry about “Social Justice Warriors” and “Feminazis” ruining entertainment as if their bigoted viewing preferences matter. Grow up. Any mature adult—no, your childhood is not “ruined”—can relinquish a need for Hollywood to remain stuck in 1984. There’s no Ministry of Truth using this film to ruin the original Ghostbusters. A  moviegoing public that cannot allow talented people to build upon their favorite films should stop asking for new movies.

Think of all the better things to do with your time than watch movies. You could climb a mountain, write a novel, or fight suffering in real life caused by oppression or intolerance. People still face a multitude of issues from disease to homelessness to ignorance, both in the U.S. and abroad. Misogyny and racism foster societal inequality, not just in a court of law but the court of public opinion. This jury is made up of armchair film professors, who would rather sit on their fat asses, TYPE ANGRILY IN ALL CAPS, and try to stop some minor discomfort with their personal inadequacies than accept a film at face value and move on.

Since modern society cannot appreciate art as a form of escapism meant for all people, film should be a luxury afforded to no one. I propose that the only thing to stop the terrible pain of seeing a group of women tell jokes for 90 minutes is to shut down the institution of cinema altogether. Hollywood studios should take their ball and go home; they’ve already made billions upon billions of dollars as an industry. Why continue?

Not only should we exorcise the demons that are Hollywood films, but all forms of modern media. After all, no one can have their most sacred cows of television, music, literature, comics, or modern art tainted by estrogen. All new projects from these mediums should be shunned to preserve the power and splendor of the originals. No more should brilliance and inventiveness be rewarded in letting us ignore bigger questions for a little while; instead, we will continue to ponder the same questions that stumped our knuckle-dragging ancestors for millennia.

After cancelling all new expressions of popular culture, the next step should be to shun new trends in classical forms of human expression as well—we must say goodbye to poetry, stage performances, sculpting, painting, and all other creative enterprises. Forget Homer, Shakespeare, Da Vinci, and Michelangelo. Scorning these works may be hard for some, but it’s the best way to ensure that we don’t taint their legacy by letting a bunch of women compete against them.

The only way to ensure the abomination of a film like the new Ghostbusters will be stopped is to stop communicating at all. We should abandon language altogether, which offends so many, especially when it supports threatening new ideas like gender equality. Besides, who needs to keep hearing the same old ones over and over again? Borrrrring! Kinda like reading comments on YouTube…

By ending modern society, we can finally destroy the wretched scum of the new Ghostbusters. Otherwise, people will have mixed feelings of nostalgia, anger, fear, and delight about the movie until long after its release. The only other possible ending is to allow the 2016 iteration to exist and then reboot again.  It’ll come somewhere down the line with yet more versions—maybe with an all black cast or (God forbid!) an openly gay one—and angry commenters will rise to the occasion to either defend or destroy the next reboot, pointing to the 2016 movie as proof of the new film’s viability. But if you want to stop this movie, you’d better act fast, as the movie is set to release in mid-July, and I’ll be at the theater, with thousands of others, enjoying a harmless comedy about some women fighting ghosts.