To start this letter, I figured I should tell you something I’ve heard:
“YOU’RE A FREAK.”
At least, that’s what they told me online.
“YOU’RE A S***.”
“YOU DON’T BELONG HERE.”
“YOU’RE A PAMPERED B****.”
“WE HATE YOU.”

That’s what they all said, on pieces of papers forever scratched in ink, in words eternally branded as a part of me.

I speak for every boy, girl, man, woman, and genderless person when I say that I have been bullied. A lot. I’ve been bullied since I was three and back then it was “you’re ugly” and “you can’t play with us.” Now it’s “you’re a monster” and “you should kill yourself.”

Bullying takes a toll on someone’s life. Often times we are taught to “just ignore them” and “tell a trusted adult.” It’s like no one understands that these things just don’t work. These suggestions are frankly, garbage. I can ignore someone all I want, but as soon as that cycle starts, as soon as they say, “I hate you,” or, “you’re ugly,” you find yourself people-pleasing and staring in the mirror with discontent. It’s not easy to break the habit of thinking, “I’m not good enough.” It’s not easy to say “I’m beautiful,” or “I’m strong,” or “I love myself.” I still hate myself.

It’s been thirteen years.

So instead of saying “tell a trusted adult,” or telling six-year-olds to have the maturity to “just ignore them,” tell them they are beautiful. Tell them they are strong. Some of them never hear it at home. But don’t just offer cliche advice. Offer help.

I’ve always been an A/B student. I play seven instruments and I’m the founder of the writing club at my school. I’m in HOSA and I’m first chair bassist in our top orchestra. But it’s hard to think they’re jealous. Since that cycle started, I couldn’t get it out of my head: I am a freak. I am a s***. I don’t belong here. I am a pampered b****.

I hate myself.

I believe educators shouldn’t try to help solve the problem. Instead of confronting the bully, teachers should be taught to help. Help the victims, because we are all victims. Teachers should be able to tell us all that we are beautiful souls, and that we belong here, that we are not freaks: that we are all, regardless of our beliefs, created so that we can do something in the world. Also, all of us deserve to be educated about what makes a bully. Bullies aren’t big, scary boys on the playground or cheerleaders in the locker rooms. We have all bullied, and it’s all because we are ashamed of ourselves. It’s a huge catch-22: we are embarrassed by ourselves, so we go out and try to make others feel the way we do, but by doing that, we feel even more negatively because of the way we act. The people we bullied now feel bad about themselves, so they go out and make other people feel bad, and it starts all over again.

See the problem here? We aren’t taught to love ourselves, and if we can’t do that, how can we love others? I can testify to this. I hated myself when I started dating. I don’t exactly love myself now, but I hate myself less and my love has grown for him, and all of my other friends. It’s amazing how much of a difference self-love can make. Educators should offer support to the people who don’t have that, or don’t experience it from home. Many don’t, so this is why we should also have counselors in all schools. My counselor, in 10th grade, made such a big difference in my life. I went down to her office when I needed her, and she made me feel so much better. Counseling shouldn’t ever be denied. We need it, and we also need to teach the younger generations that it’s okay to visit counselors at school. I fear it’s too late for my generation, but for those people who think counselors should be removed from schools, please listen to me: without my counselor, I wouldn’t be alive today. I would’ve gone home and taken all my sleeping pills back in December. We would’ve lost another American youth: another musician, another writer, artist, and inspiring force. You would’ve never gotten this letter today. I would’ve never gotten to live my life, and change people like I so very badly yearn to. I would be dead, and my organs would be transplanted to people in need (even in death I want to help people), but it wouldn’t be me. My skin would be in one person, my heart in another. I, at sixteen, would be split apart and dead. And I can speak for hundreds of millions of other teens who are thinking about, or have tried to, or have already killed themselves. I speak for teens (and adults) who, like me, have scars on their legs, arms, and shoulders. I speak for those who have cried themselves to sleep or have had the knives and medicine locked up. I speak for those who have tried to run away from their houses and schools and lives. I speak for those who have tried to jump out of cars and spent two weeks in a mental hospital; I speak for those who, like me, hated themselves, and still do, because others told us we should. People aren’t just born like this. People are shaped, sculpted, chipped, and shattered.

I am an advocate for these people, who are afraid to speak up but desperately need change. But I am only sixteen; I can’t make this nation listen to me. You can, Mr. Cruz. You are, quite possibly, my only hope.

Please take this into account when making decisions about our education. To make it easier for you, I will compile my points into a list:

a) Educate teens, adults, and parents about why people bully.
b) Teachers and staff should offer love and support to all their students, and repeat affirmations they may not hear at home or from their friends.
c) Counselors are needed in schools.
d) Help the upcoming generations to remove the stigma of visiting counselors.

And another point I have not mentioned: I know I’ve been using the word “bully” this entire letter, but it sounds intimidating. It also makes someone feel worse about their identity, and everyone has “bullied” at some point (yes, even me). How can we all be bullies? I’d like to take a closer look at what defines one: a bully, in my opinion, is someone who sets out to target an individual; the person continuously makes the victim’s life miserable. I don’t think many people fall under that category. Most people are just mean, so I consider “bully” to be incorrect in most cases. Here’s a list of alternative words society could use to classify someone who does not fit the above description:

1. Antagonist
2. Tormentor
3. Taunter, and
4. Harasser.

So the final list would be:
a. Educate teens, adults, and parents about why people bully.
b. Teachers and staff should offer love and support to all their students, and repeat affirmations they may not hear at home or from their friends.
c. Counselors are needed in schools.
d) Help the upcoming generations to remove the stigma of visiting counselors.
e) Use another, more fitting word for “bully.”

Thank you so much for reading my long letter. I’m sure you get things like this all the time, so this is nothing new, but I’d appreciate if you’d take some time out of your busy day to respond to this. It would mean the world to me.