There was no indication of what was to come. I had just seen him less then an hour ago. How could it happen so suddenly? Why him, why now, why? It wasn’t his time to leave me. I needed him more then ever. He was my entire world, my better half. All of these questions ran through my head as I sat in the hospital parking lot. My cell phone rang and there was an upset voice at the other end. I told them that I would be in there in two minutes. It didn’t seem like enough time though. I took a deep dreaded breathe and headed for the doors. Wiping my eyes for the last time I entered the warm yet cold and gloomy hospital. Bumping into people I made my way up to his room. I stood there for a minute wondering if I should go in and then I pushed the door open.


The room was filled with people, it was dark and still. Time stood still and yet still ticked by me. The first person to receive me was an old time friend. He was known as the class clown back at school. But the way he looked at me, I knew something was wrong. Not wanting to move I looked into his eyes fearing the worse. He took me by the hand and gently led me to the bed. Everyone looked on as though I was not even there. Opening my eyes I looked down at the man lying on the bed. I should have known him but I couldn’t recognize his face. I my heart dropped and my knees gave out and I collapsed by his bed. Wishing that it was all just a dream I closed my eyes and took a breathe. After what seemed like hours I looked up at the man. His face was black and blue, his hair was mated and untidy, and a brace around his neck. His left arm and leg were in a pure white casts. Trying not to cry I took his hand and said “I’m here, wake up please!” I cried out his name and time and time again nothing happened. I sat there for the longest time just thinking, wondering, praying, and remembering the good old times.


By the time I finally got up everyone was gone and I was on the only couch in the room. I walked over choking my tears and muffling my cries back. I pulled a chair over and sat looking at the man. I took his hand and I held it. Wondering if he was going to pull through. And what would life be like without him? But I didn’t want to think about that just yet. So I sat and talked to him and held his hand telling him that he was going to be fine and everything would fall back in place once he woke up. When I couldn’t look at him longer I would place my head on the bed and closed my eyes. The beeping of the heart monitor was consistent through out the night. My hand was still in his as I fell asleep and it stayed there until the morning.


Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Nothing had changed. He was still non responsive. I wasn’t giving up on him, so I sat there. I didn’t want to leave for even a second. What if he awoke up and I wasn’t there? So I sat for as long as I could. The heart monitors still beeping. My hand in his lifeless one all of the sudden was begin squeezed. I jumped and overreacted to the whole thing. But I was happy. He opened his eyes and looked at me. He was not able to talk but that was fine because his eyes were open and that was good enough for me. Tears fell from my face and I began to realize that he was going to pull through. I called everyone and anyone letting them know that he had pulled through. With in hours people had swarmed in to see him. I stood back glad to let everyone see him. It was 3 hours later that we were alone again. He could write with his one good hand, so that’s how we communicated. He told me that he was sorry for everything and that he was going to make it. But I knew that he wouldn’t make it through the night. So I told him everything and let him know that I loved him for ever. And what ever happened he would be with me.


Early that morning he died of heart failure. But I was there and held his hand to the very end, and for that we were both grateful for. He was special man my life and I now know that he never left me. Because I hear a voice every now and then saying “I love you.” when hat happens I just look to the sky and find the brightest star in the sky and say “I know.’ And he’s there holding my hand as I cry for him. The pain will always be temperate, but the memory and love will last forever.