Capgras Delusion | Teen Ink

Capgras Delusion

March 18, 2015
By HeraldoThompson SILVER, Sarasota, Florida
HeraldoThompson SILVER, Sarasota, Florida
6 articles 10 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather die while I'm livin' than live while I'm dead."


Todd
May 14
    Dear Jimmy,
         Well, it’s finally time, I’m about to graduate. I just wanted to tell you that my girlfriend (her name’s Emma) and I were planning a trip down to the Keys, and I wanted to let my favorite cousin know so we could meet up when we get down to Key West. Anyway, Emma and I have been planning this trip since last August, the start of our senior year of college. We have planned this amazing road trip; we planned every campsite, every dive, every restaurant, everything. We decided that for making it all the way through college, we deserved to treat ourselves to one more great vacation.
     We met sophomore year of college in Dr. Wickman’s Invertebrate Zoology class. I wanted to own a dive charter eventually, and she was hoping to find a job at an aquarium. My car battery had died that morning, so I had had to walk four miles to class that morning. I got there at 7:57, three minutes before class was supposed to start. By that time, there was only one seat left, and of course, it was next to a girl with straight, dirty blonde hair that fell about halfway down her. She was staring out the window with her little brown eyes when I sat down. Anyway, Dr. Wickman never showed up (we found out later that he had called in sick but no one remembered to tell his students). As we waited, I began to chat with this lovely looking lady. She must have been tired though, because she seemed pretty grouchy and didn’t laugh at any of my jokes.
     When we finally heard the news over the intercom, I got up quickly, and a girl sitting behind me tripped over my foot. I reached out and caught her arm before she fell. That was the conversation starter we needed, and we talked out to the parking lot. She even drove me back to the apartment, where she ended up staying because Happy Gilmore was on, and that’s her favorite movie. We spent the rest of the day together, just chilling out in my apartment. We even ended up going to dinner together. That’s how Emma and I met. We never even officially asked each other out. We just sort of meshed with each other.
     You’ll love her, man. She is so easy to get along with, and I swear, can make anyone laugh. You could’ve just witnessed an awful tragedy and she would still be able to cheer you up some way, somehow. She’s from Savannah, has just a hint of that sweet drawl, and just loves to go diving. She has wavy brown hair that she likes to wear over her shoulder, and has these amazing greenish-turquoise eyes that remind me of the water right off of Bahia Honda. I’m telling you, I think she’s the one; I can’t wait for you two to meet each other.
     I do need a favor from you, though. Since I never officially asked her out, I want to make her proposal amazing, and I need your help. Remember that little sunken rowboat we used to dive at back in high school? The one with that huge lobster that we could never manage to catch? Well, before we get there, at the bottom, could you get some shells and spell on the bottom “will you marry me?” Attached, you will also find the ring and a little water-proof box. I need you to open the display box for the ring, put it in the water-proof case, and set it on the bottom. Thanks, man, I really owe you one. You know what, let us take you out to dinner wherever you want while we’re down there.
     Thanks man, Todd
P.S. We should be there around noon on June Seventh.

 

 

 

Emma
June 7
     We have spent a few days in the Keys already. We camped and dove and fished and kayaked and so much more; every meal has been fantastic, except for yesterday, when I only ate breakfast. I did not have much of an appetite for lunch or dinner. We were on our way to Key West. We didn’t make it, but we’re here now.
     We were supposed to be going to meet his cousin Jimmy on the island, but didn’t get to see him yesterday. He told me that he would be here first thing this morning, though. He would’ve come last night but one of those wild tropical thunderstorms came in. I felt strange, staring out the window and watching the lightning out over the water. I wondered how lightning decides where and when it should hit; is it impartial or does it have a vengeance? When it hits, does the pain last for a moment or a lifetime?
      Todd and I spent the night together in his room. He slept all night, though, while I didn’t get a single moment of rest. I slept momentarily, but rest evaded me. I have been awake for hours now, stuck somewhere between the placid water of the inlet and the fallen palm fronds that littered the ground. He was still asleep, and I wasn’t sure when that would change. I watched as the blazing sun very slowly started to rise over the horizon. Does the sunrise signal new things, a new beginning, or is it just a sign that there will be more of the same?
     Life goes on, and so will we. Jimmy should be here soon, and I’m sure the doctors will be in any time now.

 

 


Jimmy
June Seventh
     I just got home. I spent all day with Todd and Emma. Todd looked peaceful, he didn’t seem in pain. Not like the morose peace that one feels on the deathbed, though. It seemed like he knew what was going on, like he was conquering the pain, like he hadn’t given up. He just was missing his consciousness. He almost seemed to smile even, experiencing some sort of pleasure while he was out. I like to think he knew we were there.
     I got the chance to meet Emma. She seemed distressed, but I can’t blame her. I think they really do love each other. We had the chance to talk, and even though she was clearly worried, she still was able to be hopeful and her happiness was contagious. He was right, she could make you feel better no matter how bleak it seemed.
     She told me about how they had just passed Big Pine Key when a deer scampered out on the road in front of them. According to her, Todd tried to slam on the brakes but ended up spinning out and rolling into the water. She was completely fine, miraculously, albeit a few scrapes and some tear stains. Todd, though, hit his head against the window hard enough to break it. He was unresponsive when the paramedics came, and Emma had managed to drag him out and onto shore. She said he never stopped breathing and his pulse was fine, but he was just unconscious the whole time.
     When they got to the hospital, the doctors confirmed that all of his vitals were fine, and he likely just had a concussion. By the time I came, nothing much had changed. They said he will be fine, and he would probably wake up in the next day or two. Emma told me she would call me as soon as he woke up. I went out and bought her dinner so that she wouldn’t have to eat the bland hospital food again. After we ate, she said she was exhausted and fell asleep within a few minutes in the chair next to his bed. I put my hand on Todd’s shoulder and felt him twitch, which was a good sign I think. I told him that he found a good one, and promised him I would be back in the morning.

 

 

Jimmy
June 16
     Todd’s finally home. He regained consciousness on the eighth, although he doesn’t remember that first day. The doctors seemed to believe that he was in some sort of concussion-related fugue state for that first day, because he remembered the next day, and was even able to remember the accident. He sure was glad to see me, but I believe he was justly more relieved to see that Emma was okay.
     It was remarkable how much like his former self he seemed. He wasn’t missing a beat and claimed that he was in hardly any pain. He even requested that I get him a double cheeseburger and fries from Five Guys. He also joked that he was so well-rested that he wouldn’t need to sleep for at least a week. Emma seemed to regain a little twinkle in her eyes too, as he could hold her hand again and she could finally talk to her best friend again. I tried to make sure they had plenty of time together, just the two of them.
     After about a week of observation, all the doctors deemed he was healthy enough to go home. All they needed was to schedule a few follow-up appointments. So here we are now, back at the house that we spent so much time at as kids. I think he may have been a little woozy still from the pain meds, though. When we pulled into my driveway, he insisted that we go to my house, and I had to convince him that we were at my house. Also, when we got in and met Cooper, my nine year old Dachshund, at the door, he asked me where Cooper was. I even had him hold him, but he was still insisting that it wasn’t him. He said, “This looks exactly like him, but I know it’s not him. It’s not Cooper, I would know if it was.” Again, I think the meds are just taking a while to get out of his system. Meanwhile. Emma and I will just have to put up with Loopy Todd for the rest of the day.

 

 

Emma
June 19
To: [email protected]
Hello Dr. Clark,
  It’s Emma Mayes, my boyfriend Todd was the one that you sent home on Monday after the concussion from the car accident. We have a follow up scheduled in three days, but I wanted to talk to you before then. Todd has been acting strange since we brought him home. At first, we shrugged it off and assumed he was still being affected by some of the drugs. It hasn’t stopped though. In fact, it has gotten worse.
     He has been hardly talking at all to us, when usually he talks our ears off. He keeps claiming that everything has been replaced. He says the house isn’t the one he remembers, the dog is not the real one, and even said that Jimmy, his cousin, that he pretty much grew up with is not “the real Jimmy”. He says that he has been replaced by an impostor. He even insists that they are just like the real thing, but different. The weird thing is, about half of the time he doggedly insists that these things are fake and replaced what he knew before, but sometimes he assuredly claims that they are the real person or thing. Sometimes, he’ll look away, and when he looks back, his viewpoint has changed. Even weirder is that he always knows it is us when we speak on the phone; he hasn’t messed up once over the phone.
  Dr. Clark, he’s starting to do the same with me, too. It kicked in with me about a day after Jimmy. I brought him breakfast in bed, which he normally is ecstatic over, but this time he was quietly pensive and could hardly mutter a “thanks”. He refused to look me in the eyes. Then, later in the day, he seemed much friendlier with me, but he told me to thank the woman who brought him the breakfast that morning, and said that it tasted just like my cooking. Finally, this last part has left me crying and caused me to lock myself in the bedroom. I haven’t even told Jimmy yet. He decided to propose to me last night. It was really sweet, actually. We went for a walk down the beach as the sun was setting, and has soon as the final glimpse of it sunk beneath the horizon, he showed me the ring, and I of course said yes. This morning, I walked up behind him outside, where I noticed him watching the sunrise. I kissed him on the cheek and held his hand with the hand that he had put a ring on. When he saw that, he got very worked up, and said that I needed to take the ring off. He said that it wasn’t for me, it was for Emma. I tried to calm him down, but then he broke down and started crying, and suddenly he said that he was so glad that I got the ring back from “that other woman”. I didn’t know what to do, so with my eyes refusing to let me cry, I came back inside and started to email you. The flood gates have opened now, and I’m bawling. We need your help. I really do love him, Dr. Clark, please help me to get him back.

 

To: [email protected]
Hello Ms. Hayes,
  First, congratulations on your engagement. That’s a huge moment, and you should take time to savor these moments, no matter the conditions surrounding it. Second, I promise you that I will do my best to help Todd. At this point, from the information you have just given me, I have a few possible explanations. I’d rather take time to explain these to you in person. I believe we should schedule another CAT scan for your visit. This is just to get another look at his brain and look for any possible damage. We can talk more about this on your appointment, and hopefully I’ll be able to assist you more in person. Until then, remain vigilant with him. It may be good for you and Jimmy to spend as much time with him as possible. If you have any more questions or concerns, do not hesitate to immediately email me.
Dr. Clark

 


Emma
June 23
     We just got home from the hospital. The sun is setting, but almost looks to be stuck in place to me, almost like the world momentarily stopped spinning. They diagnosed Todd with Capgras Delusion. This condition, they told me, is rare but usually results from brain trauma. The disorder is characterized by thinking many familiar people and objects have been replaced by identical impostors.
     They described it scientifically to me. They said that when we see something, the image travels from our eyes and is processed in the temporal lobe. From the temporal lobe, the information travels along a pathway called the amygdala, which elicits appropriate emotional responses to the visual stimuli. Capgras Delusion occurs when that pathway is damaged. Sometimes, the emotional response is received, and the rest of the time, there is no emotional reaction. In that case, the lack of emotion overrides their intellect telling them that they know the person, and they come to the conclusion that it must be an impostor.
     His emotions were high at the hospital, which is why he recognized us. He was very emotionally intimate with me, which is why he recognized me longer than Jimmy. He recognized me after he became emotionally worked up when he saw the ring on my hand. Apparently, there is a different pathway for auditory stimuli, which explains why he always knows it is me over the phone.
     They said there is no real treatment that they know of, but suggested the option of going to Germany and potentially exploring stem cell treatment. We would never be able to afford that, especially with such a little known treatment method. I don’t know what to do. What if he doesn’t recognize me on the altar? What if we have kids, would he recognize them? I will not leave him. He means too much to me. I can try to say that he needs me right now, but in reality, I’m selfish. I refuse to let him slip away from me.

 

Todd
July 2
      Life is great. We decided to extend our stay with Jimmy. I have a fiancée, and am living in paradise. Of course, the doctors said that I have some sort of disorder from the accident; but I’m not sure about that. I feel completely fine. Emma and Jimmy are of course very supportive of me. I usually wake up with them in Jimmy’s real house, but sometimes I wake up in the other house. It is exactly like Jimmy’s. It’s eerie, in fact, on how identical the other house is to Jimmy’s. There is a man and woman that live there, and they look and act just like Emma and Jimmy. They seem nice enough, but of course I would rather be with the real Emma and Jimmy.
     I can’t wait to marry Emma, either. That will be the best day of my life. Jimmy will be my best man, and I invited the other two to come too. Usually, I really do not like weddings. But to have the chance to tell Emma that I promise to be hers forever… words cannot express my joy and excitement. She is really excited, too. I can tell because, recently, she has been crying a lot. I can tell that she is so happy that she can barely contain her emotions.
     For now, I just have to wait, and hope that the other woman will let me be with Emma as many days as possible.
 



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This article has 2 comments.


on Apr. 30 2015 at 1:11 pm
HeraldoThompson SILVER, Sarasota, Florida
6 articles 10 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather die while I'm livin' than live while I'm dead."

Thanks! I thought about adding more to it but I wanted to leave the ending open-ended. It drove several of my friends crazy too, but I liked hearing them try to come up with what happened next. Thanks so much for reading it!

ellwist SILVER said...
on Apr. 30 2015 at 10:28 am
ellwist SILVER, Surabaya, Other
6 articles 2 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They only let you be this happy when they're preparing to take something from you." -Khaled Hosseini, the Kite Runner.

One thing first: I believe this disorder lacks the attention it very well deserved. Thinking everything you know has been replaced? Someone make a book with that, please. I actually quite liked this story. Though I craved more of Todd's perspective than the others, I enjoyed how you described Todd's delusion through others eyes. This has some potential to be very heartbreaking, though--what happens at the wedding, if he doesn't see Emma? I'm rambling though. Thank you for this story: please, keep it up!